My little pond

I built a little pond in my back yard this summer. I spruced it up and added more rock and fresh flowers  this past weekend, now that the weather is cooling down.  It's been so freakishly HOT this summer that it was neglected for a couple of months.  I got the idea from a project in Bible School at my church.  My friend and I created an indoor pond using a small blue plastic swimming pool we bought at Wally World for about $5.  They we added fake flowers, as well as some real ones, and filled it with water.  My dad gave me a small pump and we used that to create a waterfall.  The effect was so charming, I decided to re-create it in my backyard at home, using real flowers in place of the fake ones.  I love sitting out in my swing and listening to the waterfall while I drink my coffee.  I used potted plants around the back of the pool and I can change these out seasonally, or when the OK hot summer kills them.  All in all, I like the way it turned out.  What a nice way to spend a quiet weekend morning with my coffee!

My Wedding Ring

22 years ago today, Sept. 9, 1989, I married my best friend.  As I was sitting at my desk at work today, I was looking at the wedding ring he gave me and thinking about all the years we've been together.  When we got married, we didn't have much money.  Who does?  So my ring, by today's standards, is very simple and understated.  But it is a one of a kind, quite by accident.  He bought the engagment ring at one jeweler's and we found the band at another. And he didn't have to go into debt to purchase them. The stones are sapphires, my favorite stone and incidentally, it is the birthstone for the month of September.  That wasn't planned...it was just a coincidence.  I had originally picked out a single pearl ring to be the engagment ring for a couple of reason.  1.  I am not a big diamond fan and 2. I wanted something entirely different than the traditional solitaire.  But after months of thinking about that pearl ring, I decided that since I was so clumsy I would most probably knock that pearl off its setting the first time I wore it.  So we started looking around again. And we found the engagment ring.  He proposed in April of 1989 and slipped that ring on my finger.  I remember the night in early September when I went to pick up the wedding bands before the wedding.  His band does not match mine.  Again, we wanted to be different.  Even though I knew it was considered bad luck to put on the wedding ring before the wedding, I wanted to see the two together on my finger.  So I put it on and spent the drive home admiring how well they went together, even though they were from different stores.  As corny as this sounds, that's the way I felt about us...how well we went together.  I've had the ring for 22 years now.  I've never owned ANY jewelry that long!  I got it caught on a fence the week after our honeymoon and twisted the band and lost a sapphire. I cried and cried. It was repaired and you can't tell the difference.  I don't wear it around the house to avoid repeating that episode.  I couldn't wear it when I was pregnant due to the swelling in my fingers.  Then I gained so much weight that I couldn't even get it on my finger.  (One of the things I'm most happy about since I joined Weight Watchers, is being able to wear my wedding ring again.) When we hit our 20th anniversary, I thought about asking him for a bigger, more modern ring.  But then I looked at mine....and I can't do it.  It reminds me of who we were when we were just starting out.  It reminds me of where we came from.  It reminds me how perfect we are together and a new, modern ring just wouldn't do all of that.  In my heart, it would not be MY wedding ring.  It would be a replacement.  And I don't want a replacement.  It's too big now, and will probably wind up really to big for me when I hit my WW goal.  The band is a little twisted  but that doesn't matter. I'll have it sized down when the time comes.  And I'll wear this ring that my best friend gave me for the rest of eternity.

It's the little things.....

This is the only gator I saw in New Orleans!

I joined Weight Watchers this past December for the 4th time.  The day I joined was the day they unveiled the new PointsPlus program that is changing my life!  Before I knew it, I was down 2 sizes!  And while that is great and I"m thrilled to death about it, it's other little changes in my body that I'm noticing that keep me going.  Here are a few:

*I can wear my wedding ring again and it SPINS on my finger.

*I lost weight in my feet, so now I wear smaller shoes.

*I can cross my legs again.

*I can sit "indian style" on the floor.

*I can GET UP off the floor without having to crawl to something to hold onto to pull myself up.

*I stopped taking and needing my GERD medicine.

*I can wear bangle bracelets again.  And fun rings!

*My knees don't hurt anymore.

*I bought a smaller size in clothes and now I can dry those in the dryer because they are getting loose.

And I"m not finished yet!  I can't help but be excited to see all the other little things I'll be able to do when I reach my goal.  Sometimes, what the scales say isn't enough...sometimes it's the little things that keep us motivated!

New car, new lessons

I may have mentioned before, that my Darling Daughter has begun driving.  She's been practice driving with me in the front seat for several months now.  My mantra has been "Relax your shoulders....lean back in your seat...loosen the death grip on the steering wheel."  Last night, our family purchased a new Chevy Traverse, a crossover SUV that is larger, longer and taller than the Saturn VUE I've been driving for the past 9 years.  (which incindentally, Darling Daughter inherited last night!).  After negotiations and tons of paperwork, we were finally able to take our new car home.  The kids piled in with me driving.  Now here's where it gets WEIRD....as I'm driving down the road, Darling Daughter turns to me and says "Relax your shoulders...lean back in your seat...loosen the death grip on the steering wheel."   Ahhhh....the student become the teacher!

At least I know she's listening to me!

Carpe' diem

Beauty and The Beast and My Adventure in Down Town Tulsa

My wedding to the "boyfriend" with
Peanut as the flowergirl

In 1991, Beauty and The Beast was released at the movie theater and I took my then 3 year old niece, Peanut, to see it on an Aunt/Niece Day.  She sat on my lap throughout the entire movie and at the end, when the Beast dies, we both bawled.  She turned to me and said "Aunt Sissy, it's so sad!"  That  year, she had a Beauty and The Beast birthday party and I bought her a stuffed Beast from the Disney Store. For ever after, when I hear the theme song, I think of my Peanut.  Such great memories.  Now, 20 years later, I got an email from the Tulsa PAC telling me that Beauty and The Beast Musical was coming to Tulsa!  So I took my now grown Peanut, as well as my daughter, to see it.  It was fabulous! The music and the costumes and the set were everything I was hoping they would be! Absolutely magical!  It looked like the storybook came to life up on the stage.  At the end, when the Beast dies, I wasn't breathing...and, yeah, I was crying. :)  Another priceless memory with my Peanut and this time, my daughter. 

Our "adventure" began with driving to Tulsa and eating dinner at The Olive Garden.  We were only about 14 miles from the resturant to the PAC, according the the GPS on my iPhone, so I wasn't very worried about making it on time.  Until I actually GOT downtown.  It seems that Sugarland was in concert at The BOK that night, and that's pretty much in the same area as the PAC.  Some of the streets were blocked off, the traffic was HORRIBLE, and the 2 policeman I stopped and asked directions from were useless. I was getting frustrated and worried that we'd miss the show.  Finally, my 15 year old daughter took my iPhone, pulled up the GPS and started giving me driving directions from the back seat.  I started listening to her, because, after all, I had screwed this up about as much as I could on my own.  Street by street, she guided us straight to the PAC and we found parking RIGHT across the street!  She saved the night!. When the show was over, she repeated the directions in reverse and got us back on the BA Expressway in no time at all.  I told her later that she could never use the excuse "I got lost" if she was late for curfew. :)  When my bestest friend, Cara, heard this story, she reminded me of the time I had tried to drive in downtown Tulsa to see my boyfriend at TCC one day.  I called her when I got back home, (no cell phones in the 80's) crying.  I had apparently driven around, lost in all the one way streets, for 4 hours!  She got a big laugh out of that.  I have NO memory of that day whatsoever.  I guess my pride blocked it out.  Too bad I didn't have that cool iPhone with GPS on it  back then!!!

Music Festival Update

I did it.  I went to the Ponca City Music Festival and I played the piano for a judge. I walked into the church, where the festival was being held, and a nice lady said to me "Do you have a piano or vocal student?"  I looked at her and said "I'M the student."  Her eyes flew wide open and she said "WONDERFUL!"  As it turns out, I was the ONLY adult playing in the Festival.  Add that to the fact that I was also the FIRST adult to play in the Festival.  I"m so glad I didn't know this at the time.  I would have run back to my car without even seeing the piano.  When it was finally my turn to play, I walked into that room, took one look at the baby grand piano sitting there and my heart started racing.  I have ALWAYS wanted to play a baby grand piano!  I am pretty sure I was actually drooling when I sat down on the bench.  And when I touched the keys, OMG!  It sounded GORGEOUS!  All I wanted to do was sit and play around for hours. But, I don't think the other people waiting to play would have appreciated it. 

 So I played for the judge...a stranger I didn't know. Yes, I was nervous. Yes, I messed up a little.  Yes, I had to start over.  BUT!  I was NOT forbidden to ever play again, nor did they send someone to take my piano away from me.  I faced a fear and I conquered it. The Superior score I got for playing was a nice touch, too. :)

Opening Night!

I need to have a tshirt printed that says "I survived Opening Night!"  After weeks of practice, Town and Gown opened The Odd Couple, Female Version last week.  I was a little nervous all day, but nothing too out of the ordinary.  Until I was standing backstage waiting for my cue.  The mild butterflies I had all day long had morphed into bald eagles.  By the time I stepped out and sat down at the table, my heart was racing and I didn't have a single drop of spit left in my mouth!  I was seriously scared.  There were actual PEOPLE in the audience and my mouth was so dry, my tongue was stuck to the roof of it!  I knew my lines...I just wasn't going to be able to say them.  And then.... we got our first laugh and I wasn't scared anymore!  The audience was having a good time!  They were laughing in all the right places and at times, it was all I could do not to laugh right along with them.  It was truly an incredible feeling...like I really HAD been drinking cough syrup! I can't WAIT to get back out there this week!!

The Odd Couple--Female Version

Back in December, I finally got up enough courage to try out for a part in a play, and I got one!  Rehearsals for The Odd Couple, Female Version, with the Town and Gown Theater in Stillwater, began January 3rd.  Today, we are only 5 rehearsals away from  opening night and I have butterflies the size of vultures in my stomach! Am I REALLY going to DO this? I can't believe how quickly it's gone by.

I have to admit, the biggest reason behind this adventure is that piano contest coming up on February 12th that I've mentioned before.  I had such a fear of playing for people, besides my family, that I thought maybe doing a play would help me overcome it.  I was right....I've been so busy with play practice that I'm not even WORRIED about the piano contest!  I have my music memorized and almost polished to perfection.  As for the play, I am having the best time!  It's been years since I've done this....and  I had forgotten how much fun it is to get wrapped up in another world and pretend to be someone else. :)  The play really is the thing!

Carpe' diem

Happy New Year

It's 2011, just in case you haven't been paying attention.  According to the Myan Calendar, we only have one year left before the world explodes.  Do you think Ben Affleck will save us?  Or should we put our money on Vin Diesel?

All kidding aside, I have some big plans for 2011.  I will be 47 in May, 3 years from 50, so I've decided it's time for me to have some fun!  I make my stage debut in February with the Town & Gown Theater's production of The Odd Couple, Female Version.  I am excited and scared to death!  It's been years since I've been in a play. Play practice began last night, and will pretty much rule my life until the production.  That's okay.  Also in February, I will play the piano at the Federation Music Festival in Ponca City.  I will play two memorized pieces for a judge.  I'm excited and scared to death about this, too!  We are also planning a family vacation to South Carolina in July.  We want to drive the coast of SC and see all that we can see!!  We will also have a new licensed driver in the house so she will get to drive along the coast, too!

 I can't see into the future, so I don't  know how 2011 is going to turn out.  I only know that I plan to make the most of it!  I hope you make the most out of your new year, also!!

Epithany

I had an epithany today about my piano music.  More specifically, my fear of playing the piano in front of real, live people.  I've been taking lessons since January, and my teacher thinks I'm talented and that I play well.  (I have the email to prove it. ) My husband and kids love to hear me practice and I'm okay playing for them.  But I get crazy nervous about playing in front of other people.  My hands shake, I lose my place, I get hot and feel like I'm going to throw up.  So imagine my surprise when,  about a month ago,  my teacher asked me to play in a music festival in front of a judge and I said yes.  I'm terrified.  She KNOWS I'm terrified. Yet I'm practicing on my pieces daily.  I have to play 2 MEMORIZED pieces of music in front of a judge or two and that person or persons is going to JUDGE my playing.  They are going to tell me what I did wrong and how I sounded.  They are going to GRADE my performance.  Admittedly, I've been having second thoughts.  I had a hard time playing for my own mother when she was at my house. And she LOVES me!  And then, today, I had an epithany in the kitchen while I was making my lunch.  I was thinking about the contest, again, and getting ready to sit down to practice a little bit before I headed back to work.  Here is what occurred to me:   Do I REALLY care about what the judges say about my playing?  If I mess up, are they going to fire me?  Are they going to forbid me to ever take another piano lesson as long as I live? Are they going to shoot me for missing a note?  Am I going to let some strangers opinion distort my love of playing the piano?  Are they going to show up at my house and take my piano away from me?  Of course not!  I take piano lessons, not because I am forced too, but because I LOVE too!  I can make music and music is a gift to be given away!  So now, in the 2 and a half months I have left before the contest, I am going to perfect the pieces I am to play. I will walk into that room, sit down at that piano, and give those judges the best gift I can!  I'm going to make them cry!!

In memory of my Uncle David Neal

Rock Stars

In memory of my Uncle David Neal, who passed away on Friday, I am posting this blog about one of my most favorite memories of him.  It will be read at his service in the morning. 

April 2007
We attended my Aunt Wanda’s funeral this week. She was a wonderfully funny, strong, BOSSY Christian woman. She is who I aspire to be. She was 87 years old and she had spent the last 18 years taking care of her invalid daughter at home, despite 2 heart by-passes. She taught piano her whole adult life and at the time of her death, she had 30 students. Her funeral was an amazing tribute of laughter through tears. My family has dealt will all of life’s blows with laughter. It’s how we deal. Case in point….my recent episode of rock stealing.

My cousin Kimber and I, along with our dads (Pat and Don) and our Uncle David, my husband Jay and my impressionable young son, Jacob, took a road trip on Easter Sunday to the Neal’s birth place in Braggs Oklahoma. Picture this: 3 brothers in their 70’s, 2 forty-something women and a 7 year old piled into one van. Jay was driving. The van is today’s equivalent of yesterday’s station wagon. My cousin and I were in the very backseat with my son. You know…where the KIDS sit. Some things never change. Our mission that day was to retrieve a rock from the old Neal homestead. Not just any rock, but a rock with the names of the three brothers, Pat, David and Don, carved by my Grandfather Neal back in 1941. There were 8 kids in the Neal family and they were all born in that house in Braggs. There were really bad jokes cracked during the drive about bail money , police chases, and Jacob’s impending criminal record.

And we laughed. A lot.

The lot is abandoned and the house long burned down, and we don’t even own the land it sat on anymore. But those 3 brothers knew exactly where that rock was. I couldn’t believe it was still there! So I took my post as look out in the street and while my dad was busy distracting a neighbor, David, Pat, Kimber and Jay dug up that 72 pound rock. In our family, fortunes have been made and lost, loved ones have passed on, marriages have fallen apart, and illness has left its mark on us. But at that moment, nothing, and I mean NOTHING meant more to all of us than that rock. A piece of our family history. Solid. Whole. Timeless. Just like the Neals. We loaded that rock with my grandfather’s handwriting on it into the back of the van, laughing the entire time. I believe with all my heart that Aunt Wanda was watching from Heaven. And she was laughing right along with us.

Melinda Neal Keeton

April 2007

My Brother

Easter Sunday 1968

Can you pinpoint your exact first memory of when you were a little kid?  I can.  It's as fresh in my mind today as when it happened.  I was 2 years old.  It was in late June, possibly early July, and I was sitting out in the car with a babysitter, waiting on my mom and dad to come out of the hospital with my baby brother.  It was sunny and it was hot.  I was standing up in the floor of the backseat and I could see my mom and dad through the windshield, walking towards the car with mom holding a baby. Mom told me later, when I was a lot older, that she was mad at Daddy for leaving me in the car with the sitter.  That may explain why I don't remember her smiling that day.  Nevertheless, I now had a baby brother.  I'm told now that after the first week of having Jamey home, I told mom to take him back to the hospital because I didn't want him anymore.  I was probably sick of him getting all the attention.  So mom made a big deal out of feeding him "for the last time", bathing him "for the last time", dressing him "for the last time" and wrapping him up in his blanket " for the last time".  Then she told me to kiss him "for the last time" because I'd never see my baby brother again.  She made it clear out the front door before I called her back and told her I'd changed my mind. 

King Tut

 We had a great childhood, Jamey and I, and I have a million memories of him. We played together, fought each other, and protected each other.  He tormented me by EVERY means possible and there was even a time when we didn't even like each other. (teenagers. go figure.) I used to think that he and I weren't very close because we are SUCH opposites  and didn't seem to have much in common.  But now that we are both in our forties, I realize that we have ALWAYS been close.  We don't have to like the same music, have the same friends and thank goodness, I dont' have to hunt, to be close.   We are more alike than I ever wanted to admit. I'm glad that my first memory ever is of him coming home. And I'm glad that I changed my mind and decided to keep him!  He's a pretty cool brother. Love ya, Jamey. :)

Loverboy Concert 2010

Family

The kids and I went home for Labor Day, to spend some time with my side of the family.  Dad cooked hamburgers and hotdogs out on the grill.  We spent the afternoon and evening just visiting and enjoying each other's company. And laughing.  A LOT!   My brother and I did our yearly song and dance about when the Neal Thanksgiving would take place.  I have to plan it around hunting season.  I mean AROUND hunting season for every conceivable weapon!  Personally, I think he's making some of them up. ( especially the blow dart one)  He always winds up saying "just send me a sandwhich" and I always respond "if you don't come, I won't make your pumpkin cheesecake."  The holidays can NOT start until we've completed this ritual arguing. We don't need a script...we've been doing this for years. I cook a traditional Thanksgiving meal a couple of weeks before the actual holiday, and they all come to my house and eat it.  They don't understand why I like to go to all that trouble fixing all that food. From scratch.  I do it because that is the ONE time a year I get to have them all under my roof, and that makes me happy. I do it because I love to cook and set my table with my Grandma Neal's china.  I do it because it offically starts the holiday's off for me.  But most importantly, I do it because I love them.  Even if they don't read my blog!

Rudy

<----This is Rudy.  I didn't name him Rudy because he's a Ruby Throated Hummingbird, nor do I usually even NAME the dozens of hummingbirds that hang around our feeders in the summer.  Puh-lease.  I DO have a life.  But this guy!  This guy is tenacious and unafraid!  Like the title character in the movie "Rudy", about the football player that worked hard to play for Notre Dame, despite his small size. Good movie, by the way.  That's what I thought of as I watched Rudy take over the feeder on my kitchen window.  He's small and young, with some down still remaining on his "butt".  At first, I called him Fluffy Butt.  But then, as I watched him, I knew he needed a more worthy name.  He wouldn't let any other hummingbird get close to "his" feeder. He even ran off the bigger males!  The longer I watched him, the more respect I had for this little guy.  Pretty soon, Rudy wasn't even flying off the feeder to defend it.  He would just sit on the perch, twitter and flap his wings at any other intersted hummingbird, and those guys took to the trees!  He was not afraid of them or us, standing at the kitchen sink watching.  I have never seen a male hummingbird just SIT on the feeder perch like that.  My most favorite thing to do in the summer mornings is to sit out on my deck (when it's not 3000 degrees outside) and watch all the hummingbirds fly around the yard.  Sometimes, they fly so close to my head that my ears tickle.  They'll be gone by early October and I'll clean the feeders and pack them away until spring.  I don't know if the same birds come back to the same place or not. But I'll be watching for Rudy all the same.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

47 years ago today, my parents got married.  (to each other!)  Wow.  47 years!  Can you believe that?  In an age where marriage seems disposable and divorce rates are climbing, it is so amazing and uplifting to hear of one that has survived so long!  Within a few months of their marriage, they left their familes and moved to Columbia, South Carolina and started their own family.  I made my appearance in 1964 and my little brother showed up n 1966. In 1971 or 72, we moved back to Wagoner and that's where they've been ever since.  I know from stories I've heard all my life, that they had their share of struggles.  As an adult, I've seen them face job losses and serious health problems  at a time in their lives when they are supposed to be retired and puttering in a garden or fishing somewhere.  I know they fought and got on each other's nerves at times.  I don't think you can live with someone for so long and NOT snap at them occasionally.   But I  knew, even as a child, that these "outbursts" would NOT lead to a divorce.  I was always confident that they would rise above it.  And of course they did.  They are still in love and devoted to each other.  I have seen that as they were caring for one another during their health scares.  It was reflected in their eyes, even though they didn't say a word.  It took my breath away.  Here is what I learned from watching them all my life: committment is a strong word and when you take it seriously, divorce is NOT an opition.  You work through your problems together and you "argue" every night about whose turn it is to kiss the other one good-night first. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad. 

Love

Darling Daughter

She's Driving!!!

Michaela is driving.  I mean it, she really is!  Driver's Ed started this week and it's been a frenzied week spent driving her to and from Color Guard camp and  Driver's Ed.  And she wants to practice.  A LOT.  "Let me drive!" has become her mantra.  I have to admit, I have a hard time having patience with this because I want to go HOME and stay there after work.  I don't WANT to go drive along some dusty road while she practices.  I know it's important for her to practice, so I try to get over what I want to do and let her have the wheel.  She's nervous when she drives so she chatters non-stop while I sit there and say things like "mmm...scoot over, you are too close to the edge of the road" or "try not to stomp on the gas/brake pedal" or "holy cow slow down!"  Okay, I've never REALLY said holy cow slow down to her because she hasn't gotten the car over 30 miles per hour! Yet.  The first time we let her drive the car was last Sunday around the empty parking lot at our church.  She drove in loops and practiced parking between the lines.  Jake summed up my feelings about the driving thing when Michaela parked the car to get out and switch places with her Dad.  I looked back to see  him sitting stiffly in the backseat, with his arms straight down, clutching the seat.  I said "Jake, are you okay?"  He looked at me and said "Whew.  THAT was weird." 

Yeah...Jake....weird.

Ch Ch Ch Ch CHANGES!

Wow.  This week was FILLED with changes for my family!  I'm usually FOR changes, but not one right after another.  First, I turned 46.  How did THAT happen?  Aren't I still 20something?  Yeah, in my dreams I am.  I realize that this puts me 4 years from 50.  Hello?  Isn't that MIDDLE AGE?  Don't answer that!

The next couple of big changes involve my baby boy, who really isn't a baby...he's a Tween.  He participated in the Boy Scout Arrow of Light ceremony where he crossed over from a Cub Scout to a Boy Scout.  He joined a new troop, filled with boys I do NOT know.  He'll be going camping with these young men without his dad!  How can I stop this?  Answer: I can't.  It's part of his growing up.  Then, to add insult to injury, he graduated from 5th grade, crossing over to the Middle School.  I knew this was coming.  I was head of the planning committee for the graduation ceremonies.  But it just happened so darned FAST! What happened to my "Binky Boy"?  The one who used to watch Toy Story over and over and over again? The one that used to snuggle in my lap with his binky and his blankie so I could rock him to sleep and sing Desperado to him?  The little boy who loved me to read Where the Wild Things Are to him?  The cute little boy in the Superman pajamas?  There is a book I have called "I'll Love You Forever" and it's a story about a mom and her baby boy and the changes the boy (and mom) goes through.  But through the whole book, the main point is, no matter what stage of life the boy is in, his mom's love never changes.  It always makes me cry.  This summer will be one of many new adventures for my Binky Boy. And in spite of my fear and worry, I am excited to see him take these next steps.  Jacob, I'll Love You Forever!  Mom

Happy 15th Birthday Michaela!

Today is my daughter's 15th birthday and I'm sitting here, wondering, where did the time go?  It seems like only yesterday....There are so many thoughts and feelings spinning around in my head, and I'm a bit emotional.  But I think the perfect way to celebrate her birthday would be to tell you the amazing story of just how much God blessed us in May of 1995.
..............
It took us 4 years and 2 fertility doctors to get pregnant with her.  There was a time when I thought I wasn't destined to even be a mother. I BEGGED God to let me have a baby and  I had all but given up.  Then, on my brother's 28th birthday in June of 1994, he was diagnosed with Non Hodgkin's lymphoma. Cancer.  I stopped begging for a baby and instead started begging for his life. I told God that I would give up my chances of a child of my own if it meant saving my baby brother's life.  Whatever my brother might need from me, be it blood, bone marrow, an organ, it was his.
On the night of my brother's biopsy, my friend, Traci, called me from work to check on him.  I said "Cancer."  She said "I'm on my way."  As she was leaving, a woman named Willie that worked with Traci said to her, "Wait. God has a message for your friend.  He said to 'tell your friend that if she will profess her faith that God will heal her brother, she will get her miracle'."  This woman knew nothing about me, not even my name.  But Traci, being one of the finest Christian ladies I know, passed that message along to me.  So, I started professing.  To anyone I knew.  Especially to my brother.  Especially to my parents.  And life went on, as much as it can with such a diagnosis hanging over our heads.  Sometime later that summer, Willie told Traci that 3 different people had come to her to tell her that Melinda was pregnant.  Traci didn't tell me that news until later, as even she was a little skeptical.  But I believe with all my heart that those 3 strangers that went to Willie were angels, because I WAS pregnant!  That Christmas, my brother and I were both so sick...he from the chemo, me from the pregnancy.  We both looked terrible that day, but I was never happier!
On May 7, 1995, after 48 hours of labor, Michaela Anne was born via C-section, weighing 11 pounds, 9 ounces with a full head of black hair!  On May 10th, my brother went to his oncologist to get the results of his scans.  He was cancer free!  I got BOTH of my miracles!

So Happy 15th Birthday, Angel Baby Girl and Happy 15 years of being cured to my baby brother!
Thank you God, for both of them!

I can't believe I let my kids do that!

Yesterday evening, my kids experienced another first...I let them walk to the convienence store by our house WITHOUT me!  If you know me, I know you are shocked.  I am overprotective and will not apologize for that.  This is a crazy world and I want my children to be safe.  They aren't allowed to play in the street, put plastic bags over their heads or dry their hair while standing in the shower.  I watch where they are surfing on the internet.  I don't allow them to watch rated R movies and I don't approve of rap music. Yes, I DO allow them out of the house!  Michaela, 15,  babysits and Jacob, 11 in June,  plays golf and baseball.  They both go to different summer camps and activities and neither of their parents are there. I let them go to public school AND ride the school bus.  And occasionally, I let them shop on a different aisle from me in a store.  If it's a SMALL store. A VERY SMALL store.   But I have NEVER let them walk to a store and cross a busy road without me holding onto their hands!
When I suggested they do it, (yes, it was even MY idea!!)  they thought I had lost my mind.  They were freaked out and wondering where their real mother was.  I ran through different scenarios, the "what would you do" things that I've been preaching to them since they were in the womb.  I told them to stay together and to watch the cars and to keep that cell phone in their hands. I hugged them and told them I loved them.  And I let them walk out the door. Without me.  My heart was racing and I couldn't breathe. I thought I was going to throw up or faint. So I prayed for their saftey and did the only thing I could think to do....I called my mommy!!!! 
My kids made it home alive and when they walked in the door, they were beaming.  They admitted to me that yes, they were nervous, but that they had prayed before they left.  I could tell that giving them that tiny bit of freedom and independance was a GOOD thing and they proved to me that they HAVE been listening to my "lectures".  Jake sat down, looked at me and said "Now you can trust us."  Yeah, I think I can. But let's take this independance thing in baby steps please!!!!  Today it's a walk to the store...tomorrow...DRIVERS ED.  Good thing I have free long distance calling to my mommy!

Carpe' diem

Soles for Souls

My family and I went to church yesterday in our bare feet.  Yes, that's right...walked right into Eagle Heights Baptist Church barefoot!  Don't worry, we haven't turned into hillbilly's out here on the prairie.  It was an organized event to gather new or gently worn shoes for people in Haiti that don't have any.   It was chilly and raining, but we still walked in barefoot.  I think the uncomfortable weather made a bigger impact on us than if it had been a warm and sunny day.  We were uncomfortable for a short while.  For many, uncomfortable is a way of life. They say that one person can't change the world.  BUT, little stones dropped in a pool make big ripples.  We did our part by dropping 2 pairs of brand new shoes into the donation pool.  There will be 2 less shoeless kids in Haiti soon.  I can live with that. :)

UPDATE:  EHBC members donated 316 pairs of shoes!